I'm starting a Substack...

Dear diary.

For a while now I’ve been feeling a little rudderless. The last few years have been busy and chaotic and I learned to thrive in the chaos. Working on an album gave me purpose and I had a reason to create and to share. Now things have quietened down and this period in between albums is feeling strange and aimless to me. I have a lengthy backlog of songs but many were written so long ago that I’ve lost perspective on them and in many ways they feel like they were written by a different person. If I’m being honest, seeing those songs bank up with potentially nowhere to go makes me feel less motivated to write new ones - what if the same thing happens to them?

I write songs for myself but I have come to find that they don’t feel real or fully alive until someone else hears them. Maybe it’s an ego thing but I think more than that it’s a connection thing. Once a song is written, I don’t really have strong feelings towards it one way or another. It’s generally not until someone hears it and connects with it in some way that I come to believe that it might be good (or bad depending on the reaction). There have been so many songs that I’ve felt ready to throw in the bin which have been brought back from the brink by someone’s reaction. Social media can be nice for this - sometimes I’ve posted snippets of a song and felt heartened by the response (a lovely dopamine hit). But social media is also awful for my brain and my attention span. I am completely addicted to my phone as it is and I find myself feeling drawn more and more to a long form way of communicating ideas/thoughts. 

And so here I am, starting a Substack. My hope is to treat this kind of like a creative journal - to share new songs, bits and pieces of guitar practice, writing exercises and anything else that feels exciting/useful/relevant (if there are other things that would feel interesting to you I am very open to suggestions). I realise that this is a largely selfish pursuit - a way of reconnecting with my own creative process in a way that feels tangible and gives structure/purpose to what is currently meandering/aimless. But also I know that I like hearing other artists/friends talk about their own process and struggles so I’m hoping it may be useful to someone other than me. I’d love for this to be an exchange rather than a monologue so if you’re also looking for a bit of structure/accountability, perhaps we can embark on this together.

This week I am aiming to write a singular song. I am telling myself that it doesn’t need to be good and trying to believe it. I will post whatever comes out (good or bad) here. I also want to finish learning Judy Sill’s Crayon Angels. I started learning it a few days ago and was truly humbled. The swung feel and sparseness of the fingerpicking pattern makes it deceptively difficult. It’s not as chuggy and consistent as the other travis picking songs I’ve learned in the past and there are also hammer-ons and pull-offs which are not my strong suit at the best of times. Anyway, I will persevere. Maybe I’ll post a tutorial here of where I get to if that’s of interest to anyone (I can’t find any good ones online).

I mentioned the backlog of unreleased songs, so in the spirit of making them feel real and alive I might post one demo here each week. I’d love to know if any in particular resonate ❤️

This is one that I’ve played a bit at shows recently and a few people have asked me to share a recording. So here’s a rough demo of a song about breathing. It’s called Contract, Expand.

Okay that’s enough out of me for today. If you’ve made it this far thanks for being here.

Talk soon,

Han x